Lately, I've been such an emotional wreck. It kills me that I'm never the best. I'm always second. It's such a slap in the face.
I hate when people put me up on this high pedestal, saying that I'm "amazing" and "talented" and "awesome." I'm not. I'm not great. I'm not even good. I'm only, adequate. Seriously? I'm sick of people comparing themselves to me. Live on your own. Who the hell cares if you got a better grade than me on a test? Who the hell cares if you were accepted to something I was rejected from? Besides you that is.
I'm gonna change from now on. My senior year will be the best of my life. I'm gonna tell it like it is. I'm gonna figure out who my best friends are. I'm gonna figure out what makes me happy. I'm sick of pleasing other people. I'm sick of people taking advantage of how nice I am, and how friendly I am, and how I won't retaliate. To all of you who take advantage of me in any way, shape or form, I would like to give you a bit of advice: beware. Things are changing, and you won't get away with that shit anymore.
I need to find what makes me happy. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm sick of crying, especially when it isn't provoked.
I'm sick of the way I live life now...
I need to change things.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
SAT: Round 2
Critical Reading: 680
Math: 700
Writing: 700
TOTAL: 2080
Yaaaaaaaay! I've officially made the minimum for most Ivy Leagues. :)
Math: 700
Writing: 700
TOTAL: 2080
Yaaaaaaaay! I've officially made the minimum for most Ivy Leagues. :)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Omission
Really, deleting someone from your life is kinda soothing. Well, in all ways possible so he/she doesn't know you're trying to purge them out of your thoughts.
On a side note, Glee hit home again with its insane Pathos. Good job Ryan Murphy.
Also, if you wanna hear me play some piano, go to yapccontest.com, click on Winner's Concert, and find me (Isaac McClure). :)
On a side note, Glee hit home again with its insane Pathos. Good job Ryan Murphy.
Also, if you wanna hear me play some piano, go to yapccontest.com, click on Winner's Concert, and find me (Isaac McClure). :)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Seriously,
If I hear one more whine, I'm going to kill someone. Just make a legitimate complaint, it's a lot more respectable.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Trois Choses
So, I'm with Sammy (Clarke, my best guy friend), and we're watching this trippy horror movie (which I will discuss in about two milliseconds). With this in mind, I have three pieces of advice to...advise you of.
1) Always take time out of your schedule to hang out with your best friends. Whether it's all of them together or just one at a time; always take time to be with them. It'll make you the one sane person in this insane society.
2) Go to Hooters if you need to unwind. Some hot, extremely friendly (no double entendres intended) women, delicious hot wings and an infinite amount of TVs, mixed with your best buddies: that's the best way to kick back and have a great time.
3) Never watch The Collector. This is my second time seeing it. It'll make you have a heart attack. It's a terrible movie. Morally. The writing is genius, in a way. I mean, no movie has ever made me freak out as much as this movie did/does. It's not even scary! It's just SO intense that it's almost impossible to not like, freak the hell out while watching it. I watch the movie shaking, freaking about not knowing what's going to happen next; and I've already seen it! Seriously, no movie makes me cringe...except this one. I mean, if you wanna be thoroughly freaked out and possibly have an aneurism, feel free to rent it (at least do the Blu-Ray, to get some money's worth). But honestly, I may die if I watch this movie a third movie.
With that, O my brothers, I bid you a dandy farewell, and a pleasent goodnighty.
1) Always take time out of your schedule to hang out with your best friends. Whether it's all of them together or just one at a time; always take time to be with them. It'll make you the one sane person in this insane society.
2) Go to Hooters if you need to unwind. Some hot, extremely friendly (no double entendres intended) women, delicious hot wings and an infinite amount of TVs, mixed with your best buddies: that's the best way to kick back and have a great time.
3) Never watch The Collector. This is my second time seeing it. It'll make you have a heart attack. It's a terrible movie. Morally. The writing is genius, in a way. I mean, no movie has ever made me freak out as much as this movie did/does. It's not even scary! It's just SO intense that it's almost impossible to not like, freak the hell out while watching it. I watch the movie shaking, freaking about not knowing what's going to happen next; and I've already seen it! Seriously, no movie makes me cringe...except this one. I mean, if you wanna be thoroughly freaked out and possibly have an aneurism, feel free to rent it (at least do the Blu-Ray, to get some money's worth). But honestly, I may die if I watch this movie a third movie.
With that, O my brothers, I bid you a dandy farewell, and a pleasent goodnighty.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Je suis confusé
I should hate you
More than I hate broccoli.
But when you talk to me...
The world stops,
Your smile lights the darkness
Set deep into my mind
And your eyes
Untie the stress
Built up over the year
Jeez, your like a flashlight and some ibuprofen.
Maybe that's why I like you so much.
More than I hate broccoli.
But when you talk to me...
The world stops,
Your smile lights the darkness
Set deep into my mind
And your eyes
Untie the stress
Built up over the year
Jeez, your like a flashlight and some ibuprofen.
Maybe that's why I like you so much.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Woah.
Okay, I don't care if you've ever seen Glee, but jeez, you really need to start. It's the best show ever aired...honestly. No show will make you laugh or cry as hard as this one does.
Seriously, holy frickin' Pathos.
Watch the video. Seriously.
http://www.fancast.com/tv/Glee/103049/1491934418/Laryngitis/videos
PS: I took the AP Language and Composition exam today. Predictions: 4 or 5. Yeah, suck it.
Seriously, holy frickin' Pathos.
Watch the video. Seriously.
http://www.fancast.com/tv/Glee/103049/1491934418/Laryngitis/videos
PS: I took the AP Language and Composition exam today. Predictions: 4 or 5. Yeah, suck it.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Oh, the sweet taste of satisfaction
Ya know, you make me so angry. Here's a list of why:
1) You post these entries on Tumblr expressing how you hate Westfield because it brings memories of your old life.
2) You go on to detailing said memories, which are clearly specified as times with me.
3) You don't even mention my name.
4) You say "people" you love, but you explicitly said you didn't love me.
Ya know, I'm actually happy you hurt when you recall the parking lots and the drives we took. Am I a bad person for thinking this? It shows that I actually had some impact on you. Too bad you didn't realize it when you actually had me.
Ya know, you're not really "over me." If you were, you wouldn't hate your home. You wouldn't feel "bittersweet." You wouldn't feel anything.
Ya know, I've realized what love is. It never included you. Love doesn't include fighting, and tears, and insults, and yelling, and "Fuck you"s. Love is kisses and hugs and sweet nothings whispered into each other's ear. Now, we had some of that, but not anymore than what love doesn't include.
Ya know, I'm so happy we're done with. I'm happy to know that you feel like I'm the reason you hate Westfield. I'm glad I'm the reason you wish you could just stay away from here all together.
Fuck you, too.
P.S. To all my friends (the real ones): Thanks for being there for me. For keeping me sane. For making me laugh. For giving me a shoulder to cry on. I hope that I have treated you well enough to deserve your unfailing support and loyalty. Love you all.
1) You post these entries on Tumblr expressing how you hate Westfield because it brings memories of your old life.
2) You go on to detailing said memories, which are clearly specified as times with me.
3) You don't even mention my name.
4) You say "people" you love, but you explicitly said you didn't love me.
Ya know, I'm actually happy you hurt when you recall the parking lots and the drives we took. Am I a bad person for thinking this? It shows that I actually had some impact on you. Too bad you didn't realize it when you actually had me.
Ya know, you're not really "over me." If you were, you wouldn't hate your home. You wouldn't feel "bittersweet." You wouldn't feel anything.
Ya know, I've realized what love is. It never included you. Love doesn't include fighting, and tears, and insults, and yelling, and "Fuck you"s. Love is kisses and hugs and sweet nothings whispered into each other's ear. Now, we had some of that, but not anymore than what love doesn't include.
Ya know, I'm so happy we're done with. I'm happy to know that you feel like I'm the reason you hate Westfield. I'm glad I'm the reason you wish you could just stay away from here all together.
Fuck you, too.
P.S. To all my friends (the real ones): Thanks for being there for me. For keeping me sane. For making me laugh. For giving me a shoulder to cry on. I hope that I have treated you well enough to deserve your unfailing support and loyalty. Love you all.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Okay, so hey!
Okay, I know I haven't actually posted anything besides formspring posts in like, the last eon, so I'm gonna introduce myself again, right now. I'm going to start posting a lot more frequently than I was before. I actually have a life now, so this will be easy. Posts will range from poetry, to short story ideas, to ideologies I have in mind, to what happened in my day, to random babbling that may make me sound like a drug addict because of its nonsense. Everything is a surprise on thelifeonanisaac!
So, my name is Isaac Thomas McClure. I hate my first name. It's Aramaic, and it may look familiar, and that's 'cause it's from the first book of the Bible. Yeah, my father tries to kill, in the first section of the most famous book in the world. Great. It's so ugly, and harsh. I do like that it means "Cheerful faith," however. I have a wooden sign on my door that says what it means and a verse from the Bible. But, I really wish my name was Christian. I don't know why, I just think I could pull it off really really well. It's such a classy, fantastic name.
If you couldn't tell by that second paragraph, I'm a fairly devout Missouri Synod Lutheran. However, my faith seems to be like a rollercoaster: sometimes I'm more devout than any other person on the face of the Earth, while other times I wish that I was Agnostic. I love God, and I have no doubt in my mind that his son, our Lord Jesus Christ, was incarnate by the Holy Spirit in the Virgin Mary to die for our sins (yes, that was supposed to sound like part of the Nicene/Apostle's Creed). However, I do not like the church. People run the church, not God. I do not have full faith in the church because I don't have full faith in man. Man has messed up too many times for me to fully trust him. I only trust God and Jesus. Becuase of this lack of trust in man, I don't believe in all of the Bible. I believe that everything in it happened at one point or another, but I don't agree with the messages that people have exumed from its text. The Bible is supposed to convey a message of hope, faith and love. Not one of hate. I don't agree with the forbidding of homosexuality or abortion, or the blind honor to authority that Martin Luther (in his catechism) explained. The Catholic Church, before the time of the Reformation and even today molds the Word to fit its own personal desires, and almost all of Chirstianity is based off the Catholic mindset. Honestly, I just don't think I'll ever be the Christian I'd like to be, because I just can't bring myself ot agree with half of its teachings. I don't believe that everything interpreted from the Bible is exactly what God intended: I believe man twisted God's intention to fit his own twisted wants.
If you couldn't tell from that paragraph, I'm quite liberal. I'm a Democrat. I believe in a stron, central government and weak state governments. A country is a country due its government. Without a central government and separate state governments, the "country" would be more of a Confederation. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-gay marriage. I don't think regular civilians should be able to bear arms. I do agree with capital punishment.
Now, this is gonna get tangent-y.
I love the idea of karma and reincarnation. I don't know if I necessarily believe in it, but I would love to be reincarnated as an animal or as a president or something.
I play seven instruments. I love all of them, almost equally, but my clear cut favorite to play is piano. I have excelled greatly in piano. After only playing for 3.5 years I achieved 2nd place at Saturday's Young Artist Piano Competition against other 17 year olds. Mind you, these players have been playing since they could sit up basically. Keep that in mind. I also play alto, tenor, and bari sax, clarinet, bass clarinet, bass trombone, and bassoon. I made the Western Massachusetts District Jazz Ensemble on bari sax. I was very, very proud. I'm a member of Westfield High School's Wind Ensemble, Concert Band, and Jazz Ensemble. I teach piano every Friday at The Music Cellar, where I also take lessons with the best teacher ever: Ellen Buoniconti. I plan to play musical instruments for my entire life, especially piano. When I'm rich enough to afford it, I would like a Bosendorfer Imperial, a nine-foot grand piano with 12 extra keys added to the bottom end of the piano. Agh, it's so pretty. I love playing jazz on wind instruments, but on piano I definitely consider myself a classical pianist. I love Beethoven, Chopin, Lizst, Ravel, Debussy, etc. I love everything classical music, especially anything from the Romantic period.
I'm pretty intelligent, and I have a fantastic work ethic. I'm 14th in my class with (approx.) a 97.18 GPA. I'm hoping to acheive top ten before I graduate. I'm enrolled in the most advance classes WHS offers. My senior year, instead of taking it easy, I'm taking 5 AP classes. I'm excited though, 'cause they're fun. I'm preparing myself for a top university, which is why I'm stretching myself out as thin as possible while still having an active social life as well as staying sane. The colleges I'm going to apply to are Brown, Stanford, WPI, UMass Amherst, Johns Hopkins, Harvard, UC Berkeley, Tufts, BU, and Columbia. I recently qualified for National Merit, meaning that I was one of the top 50,000 scores of the PSAT's. I was the only one in my school. My mommy and daddy were very proud. I did very well the first time I took my SAT's (I got a 2020), and I took them again, and I'm predicting an even higher score. I'm also taking the ACT in June, which I am also expecting a high grade.
I love to travel.
I love the idea of love, but I will not be in a relationship anytime soon. I like a lot of people, but I would never pursue a relationship with any of them. They always end up in someone getting hurt. I do want to get married and have kids when I'm out of medical school though.
I would like to major in biomedical engineering in college, with a double major possibly in mathematics. I would like to be a radiologist or an anesthesiologist when I'm older.
I like watching sports. I'm a die hard Red Sox fan, even though I haven't had much time as of late to watch the games. I like the Patriots, and the Bruins. I like watching tennis a lot a lot, my favorite two players being Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer.
I don't play sports, because I'm not very good at them.
I love shopping for clothes. I love Abercrombie and Fitch more than I love my life itself. Whenever I'm angry, I find release in either piano or shopping online at abercrombie.com.
I never get enough sleep, and I frequently stay up late. However, I'll randomly fall asleep during the day. Never during school though.
I love movies. I love books, too, but I'm an excruciatingly slow reader.
I love helping people.
I love editing papers.
I love writing.
I love crying.
I love laughing.
I love my friends.
I love driving.
I love working.
I love jumping up and down for no apparent reason.
I love making new friends.
I love making jokes.
I love analyzing.
I love talking.
I love the sound a keyboard makes when you type on a laptop.
I love Glee and Lost, which are my favorite TV shows.
I love everything about school.
I love my mom more than any other person on the face of the Earth.
I love my dad and my sister and my grandma more than any of my friends, and I love every other member in my large, large family.
I love listening to my iPod.
I love Mayday Parade.
I love Morgan Drewniany and Sammy Clarke, my two best friends.
I love yelling.
I love singing.
I love composing.
Okay, I think that's good for now. New posts will come soon. :)
So, my name is Isaac Thomas McClure. I hate my first name. It's Aramaic, and it may look familiar, and that's 'cause it's from the first book of the Bible. Yeah, my father tries to kill, in the first section of the most famous book in the world. Great. It's so ugly, and harsh. I do like that it means "Cheerful faith," however. I have a wooden sign on my door that says what it means and a verse from the Bible. But, I really wish my name was Christian. I don't know why, I just think I could pull it off really really well. It's such a classy, fantastic name.
If you couldn't tell by that second paragraph, I'm a fairly devout Missouri Synod Lutheran. However, my faith seems to be like a rollercoaster: sometimes I'm more devout than any other person on the face of the Earth, while other times I wish that I was Agnostic. I love God, and I have no doubt in my mind that his son, our Lord Jesus Christ, was incarnate by the Holy Spirit in the Virgin Mary to die for our sins (yes, that was supposed to sound like part of the Nicene/Apostle's Creed). However, I do not like the church. People run the church, not God. I do not have full faith in the church because I don't have full faith in man. Man has messed up too many times for me to fully trust him. I only trust God and Jesus. Becuase of this lack of trust in man, I don't believe in all of the Bible. I believe that everything in it happened at one point or another, but I don't agree with the messages that people have exumed from its text. The Bible is supposed to convey a message of hope, faith and love. Not one of hate. I don't agree with the forbidding of homosexuality or abortion, or the blind honor to authority that Martin Luther (in his catechism) explained. The Catholic Church, before the time of the Reformation and even today molds the Word to fit its own personal desires, and almost all of Chirstianity is based off the Catholic mindset. Honestly, I just don't think I'll ever be the Christian I'd like to be, because I just can't bring myself ot agree with half of its teachings. I don't believe that everything interpreted from the Bible is exactly what God intended: I believe man twisted God's intention to fit his own twisted wants.
If you couldn't tell from that paragraph, I'm quite liberal. I'm a Democrat. I believe in a stron, central government and weak state governments. A country is a country due its government. Without a central government and separate state governments, the "country" would be more of a Confederation. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-gay marriage. I don't think regular civilians should be able to bear arms. I do agree with capital punishment.
Now, this is gonna get tangent-y.
I love the idea of karma and reincarnation. I don't know if I necessarily believe in it, but I would love to be reincarnated as an animal or as a president or something.
I play seven instruments. I love all of them, almost equally, but my clear cut favorite to play is piano. I have excelled greatly in piano. After only playing for 3.5 years I achieved 2nd place at Saturday's Young Artist Piano Competition against other 17 year olds. Mind you, these players have been playing since they could sit up basically. Keep that in mind. I also play alto, tenor, and bari sax, clarinet, bass clarinet, bass trombone, and bassoon. I made the Western Massachusetts District Jazz Ensemble on bari sax. I was very, very proud. I'm a member of Westfield High School's Wind Ensemble, Concert Band, and Jazz Ensemble. I teach piano every Friday at The Music Cellar, where I also take lessons with the best teacher ever: Ellen Buoniconti. I plan to play musical instruments for my entire life, especially piano. When I'm rich enough to afford it, I would like a Bosendorfer Imperial, a nine-foot grand piano with 12 extra keys added to the bottom end of the piano. Agh, it's so pretty. I love playing jazz on wind instruments, but on piano I definitely consider myself a classical pianist. I love Beethoven, Chopin, Lizst, Ravel, Debussy, etc. I love everything classical music, especially anything from the Romantic period.
I'm pretty intelligent, and I have a fantastic work ethic. I'm 14th in my class with (approx.) a 97.18 GPA. I'm hoping to acheive top ten before I graduate. I'm enrolled in the most advance classes WHS offers. My senior year, instead of taking it easy, I'm taking 5 AP classes. I'm excited though, 'cause they're fun. I'm preparing myself for a top university, which is why I'm stretching myself out as thin as possible while still having an active social life as well as staying sane. The colleges I'm going to apply to are Brown, Stanford, WPI, UMass Amherst, Johns Hopkins, Harvard, UC Berkeley, Tufts, BU, and Columbia. I recently qualified for National Merit, meaning that I was one of the top 50,000 scores of the PSAT's. I was the only one in my school. My mommy and daddy were very proud. I did very well the first time I took my SAT's (I got a 2020), and I took them again, and I'm predicting an even higher score. I'm also taking the ACT in June, which I am also expecting a high grade.
I love to travel.
I love the idea of love, but I will not be in a relationship anytime soon. I like a lot of people, but I would never pursue a relationship with any of them. They always end up in someone getting hurt. I do want to get married and have kids when I'm out of medical school though.
I would like to major in biomedical engineering in college, with a double major possibly in mathematics. I would like to be a radiologist or an anesthesiologist when I'm older.
I like watching sports. I'm a die hard Red Sox fan, even though I haven't had much time as of late to watch the games. I like the Patriots, and the Bruins. I like watching tennis a lot a lot, my favorite two players being Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer.
I don't play sports, because I'm not very good at them.
I love shopping for clothes. I love Abercrombie and Fitch more than I love my life itself. Whenever I'm angry, I find release in either piano or shopping online at abercrombie.com.
I never get enough sleep, and I frequently stay up late. However, I'll randomly fall asleep during the day. Never during school though.
I love movies. I love books, too, but I'm an excruciatingly slow reader.
I love helping people.
I love editing papers.
I love writing.
I love crying.
I love laughing.
I love my friends.
I love driving.
I love working.
I love jumping up and down for no apparent reason.
I love making new friends.
I love making jokes.
I love analyzing.
I love talking.
I love the sound a keyboard makes when you type on a laptop.
I love Glee and Lost, which are my favorite TV shows.
I love everything about school.
I love my mom more than any other person on the face of the Earth.
I love my dad and my sister and my grandma more than any of my friends, and I love every other member in my large, large family.
I love listening to my iPod.
I love Mayday Parade.
I love Morgan Drewniany and Sammy Clarke, my two best friends.
I love yelling.
I love singing.
I love composing.
Okay, I think that's good for now. New posts will come soon. :)
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