Starbucks and SATs

Well, today I got my subject test scores back (very late, I might add). Here they are, in the order I took them:

CHEMISTRY
650

MATH LEVEL 2
710

LITERATURE
630

Ehh, not too bad. I got called into Starbucks, which made me happy after these okay scores.

Also, I NEED to raise my regular SAT scores this November (next Saturday...ahhh!). I wanna be number one.

Goal:

CRITICAL READING
700

MATH
800

WRITING
750

COMPOSITE
2250


Dream big.




Also, 48 days 'til I find out about Stanford.

Well...

It's easy to put on a happy face, let the world think that everything's okay.

It's easy to smile when your heart is broken.

It's easy to keep moving as if nothing was in your way.



It's difficult to admit something's wrong.

It's difficult to sit down and say, "I need to fix this."





I haven't had a good cry in a while, and it's taking a toll on me.

Love/Hate

Things I love:

All Time Low/A Rocket to the Moon concerts in 200-person-max-capacity venues

Working at Starbucks

Going to the movies

Drinking Starbucks drinks

Sleeping

Hooters/UFC



Things I hate:

Getting ditched

Not getting sleep

Massive amounts of homework

Getting ditched

So, sending my Stanford app in was the biggest relief of my life. Seriously, I let out a ten-second sigh.

Arts Supplements Recordings

Just click and listen!

Prelude No. 4 in D
S. Rachmaninoff
http://www.zshare.net/audio/815616301c5051d6/

Toccata
A. Khatchaturian
http://www.zshare.net/audio/815616674cb56f59/

Regarding my future...

Sitting on my loveseat, writing my CommonApp Essay...
Yeah, this makes me think.

I'm writing an essay about the most emotional time of my life, and it's hard.
But it makes me realize how far I've come as a person.

But thinking about college, applyin' to college, and such...
(Excuse my French) Holy shit.


Honestly, I don't know if I'm ready to grow up. I'm gonna miss home so much. I miss childhood already. I hate growing old. Soon I'm going to be moving out, making my own life. I really wonder what it'll be like. Will I be successful? Will I be happy?

Also, thinking of college ACCEPTANCE is unnerving.
Here are the ten colleges I'm applying to, along with a brief commentary on each:

1) Stanford University
Easily my top choice. I'm going to major in biochem (well, if I go to Stanford, major in chem and minor in bio), and they just happen to have the number one bio and chem departments in the country. Convenient! Also, the campus is gorgeous, the people are nice...everything is perfect.
Reported Acceptance Rate: 7%

2) Brown University
Also a beaultiful campus, and Providence is an awesome city. I realllllllllllly love it there (I've visited twice), and I could definitely see myself going there. I don't think I'll get in, but I can dream.
Reported Acceptance Rate: 10%

3) Worcester Polytechnic University
Better known as WPI. It's beautiful, and an awesome school, especially for sciences. Two friends go there, which would make things fun. I really loved my overnight there, and I really think the school would be a good fit for me. However, they SUCK with financial aid, which would be an issue. Whatevzzz.
Reported Acceptance Rate: ~61%

4) Columbia University
Honestly? It's in Manhattan, and it's an Ivy. They're excellent with financial aid, and come on...MANHATTAN. So awesome.
Reported Acceptance Rate: 9%

5) Harvard University
Yeah, I'm applyin' here. My uncle works in the astrophysics department, which could help. I love Boston so much, and Harvard is GORGEOUS. And come on, it's Harvard! I know I'd get a good education there.
Reported Acceptance Rate: 6.5%

6) Boston University
Right next to Fenway, basically, and all down Commonwealth Ave. It's sooooo pretty, and an awesome school for sciences. Also, I have a couple friends going there. Woot!
Reported Acceptance Rate: 55%

7) Johns Hopkins University
I'm in love with Baltimore, and Johns Hopkins has an excellent premed program, as well as science programs. I would love to go here.
Reported Acceptance Rate: ~25%

8) Tufts University
Again, Boston is fantastic. Tufts is EXCELLENT in the fields of science, and they have a fantastic med school.
Reported Acceptance Rate: ~22%

9) University of Massachusetts: Amherst
This school really gets downplayed by WHS students, because SO many of them go there. But seriously, the school is SO good in the sciences. Also, I looooooove Amherst, and so so so many of my friends go there, or to a school in the general vicinity.
Reported Acceptance Rate: ~67%

10) University of Chicago
They sent me SO many letters in the mail and via email, and I just had to look at it. One of my friends goes there, and she recommended it heavily. My parents are in love with Chicago. It's an amazing school. And I love even numbers, so I chose this as my tenth school.
Reported Acceptance Rate: ~22%



I honestly only think I'll get into BU, WPI, and UMass, but I've worked SO SO SO hard all of my life, and I really hope I get into something a bit more selective. I mean, I'd be sooooo happy to be with any of those three, but I just worked too hard for something I could've gotten with a 93 GPA and an 1800 on my SATs.

Whatever. Everything'll be fine.
Just fine.

NEVER take the SAT Subject Tests in Chem and Math 2 on the same day.

Jussayin'.

Predictions:

Math 2: 770
Chem: 700
Lit: 700

Some nights I just freak out cause I feel inadequte beyond all comparison and I feel like I've worked so hard for nothing and I feel like I'm just going to end up adequate when I grow older and I won't be special but I've made it a point to be unique and to stand out from the crowd but now all I feel like is that I'll never amount to anything more than a middle class single man who dies alone and unhappy.

Please, someone help me.

Freaking out about college.

It sucks.

Honestly, the two best things happened to my life in this past week: my job at Starbucks and working out every day at Planet Fitness.

At Starbucks I feel like I belong there, like the people there like me. Also, it means a lot of money, which will conquer my fears of not having money.

At Planet, I feel accomplished. I feel like I'll stay skinny for a while, and maybe even gain more muscle.




Ugh, I'm sorry that this isn't eloquent, by my happiness trumps my need for the right word.